Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize