im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
