Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
