And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
