i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
