OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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