it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Of course I have a pirate flag
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
