Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize