just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
