You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
