im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
