do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize