It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize