I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Please don't give away my fajitas
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