Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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