Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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