you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
