Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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