There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
