at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
My brain says no but my pants say off.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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