too bad you live with your parents still
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
