We're like a lot better than the average bears
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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