There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
