She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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