I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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