out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
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