Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
