we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
well you can't waste a boner
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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