4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
