you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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