i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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