update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
