It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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