if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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