I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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