Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
