hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
