yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
