So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
