hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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