Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
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