maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
