six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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