we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
They have beer where we have blood.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
