I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
