i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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