Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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