what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You made out with two different species that night
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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