Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
