My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
