Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
