thus making me awesome and them whores
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
