Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
