I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
