How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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