can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
There's always time for handjobs
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
