in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
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