So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
