Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
