I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
