She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
