Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
